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Six Reasonable Ways To Survive a Long Distance Relationship


If you think that LDR is like putting yourself back in surviving the World War II, you might be right. You plan to survive – you plan to succeed. Simple but never easy. Most of the failed LDR has issues with trust, communication, cheating, etc. But if you have long term goals with your partner, it’s not going to be as difficult as what you think it is. However, it wouldn’t be that easy too.

Here are six reasonable ways to make your transition smooth in order to survive LDR. This is based on personal experience and instinct.

1. Never ask how. If you keep on asking yourself how will you survive LDR, you are just formulating another version of burden – stress and depression. You will agonize thinking such. Instead of stressing yourself asking – accept! Accept the fact that you are in the situation and see the brighter side of the world. Optimism will help you strengthen your trust to your partner. Focus on your long term plans and do not rush things. Remember that a farmer waits a long time for a sweet harvest. Be like one instead of complaining and asking what life has done to you. You are not the only one struggling in this world. If you keep on tolerating all those struggles, you are just burying yourself alive in the wake of failure.

2. Stop your drama and engage yourself in realizing your dreams.  I understand that crying will help you release your emotions, but it wouldn’t change the reality. However, if you keep yourself busy working, schooling, or doing business, you will then be able to convert your thoughts of missing someone to the thought of achieving your goals. The more you cry, the more possibility that you might seek for someone’s comfort that will result to missing your partner even more. You might end up seeking for someone else’s compassion of making you feel better. Getting used having that comfort from someone else might give you the idea that it is better off that way – which isn’t a good thing in the long run. It might result to cheating  as well. Learn to adjust in a new setting. If you get used being with your partner, you will always got used not being with him for a long period of time. Independence is a powerful weapon in combating the battle against LDR. Learn it!

3. Do not quack, you’re not a duck! Learn to control your temper. If you keep nagging to your partner you are also keeping him away from you. So, if you want to have long lasting relationship, don’t be a quacking duck! It wouldn’t hurt talking to your partner calmly. Study found that partners who minimize nagging have a better chance of living a happy relationship (Markman, 2010). Therefore, avoiding pointless arguments, nonsense jealousies, and skeptical sentences will merit a high percentage rate of surviving LDR. On the other hand, if you keep those bitter ingredients in you, you are also burning your partner out. When a person is burned out, there is a tendency that he might leave you suspended in the air – while you are regretting knowing it’s too late. Hence, don’t let this corruptions destroy you by defending it with golden trust.

4. Give time for communication – but not all the time.  Talking to your partner over the phone (voice, video, chat, text, etc.) would lessen the amount of nostalgia in your heart. Nevertheless, don’t put it into practice. Remember you have to grow. You have to expose yourself in a new lifestyle. You’re in a long distance relationship, meaning you are venturing different goals for a better future. Therefore, consider giving each other time for those and take your time for each other as a break. An hour or two in a day is enough to let each other know that you’re still in track. Telling your partner the best thing that happened to you in a day is a good topic to start a conversation. However, never demand for time, it shouldn’t be asked, it should be given. Do not feel bad if your partner couldn’t reply to your messages. Give him the benefit of the doubt. Your suspecting instincts will ruin everything you have. Allow him to do whatever he wants to achieve the goals you always planned. Just because he couldn’t reply to your messages, you will also think he had forgotten you. It’s a big NO! NO! Relax! Do not overthink. If you are in this side of “he” with a bustling schedule, take at least a minute saying “good night honey, it has been a busy day” before you end the day. Listen with your soul. Love with your heart.

5. Add some strong spices to your recipe.  Talking to your partner is a good thing, but teasing your partner with your sexy bedroom voice is a big check to be added on your recipe. A taste of spicy food makes a person crave for more – serve one for your partner. Sexual imputation is like a helium that will make you float in the cloud nine. Your inner core needs it too not just your body’s physical sensations. This will make your bond even stronger. This is a must!

6. Be honest all the time.  
"A lie has speed, but truth has endurance." -Edgar J. Mohan. 
Make it your foundation and you’ll have the strongest wall in the planet that even the earth’s most dangerous phenomenon couldn’t destroy. Telling the truth should be a habit. Never daze yourself in the excuses made by white lies for it will blind you overtime. If you are telling the truth to your partner, you are also building the trust that will maintain the friction of diamond in the windows of soul. You have to be honest even if the truth might hurt your partner. If you made a mistake, tell em you did. Yet, you have to face the consequences of your action. Never ever cheat to your partner. Cheating means being dishonest. Being one, is also being the earthquake with the highest intensity that will pulverize the wall you made. If you want to keep your partner, live with that rule.
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